[Jamil scoffs under his breath but doesn't quite manage to keep one corner of his lips from turning upward.] Don't be too impressed. I'm basically the housewarden in everything but name.
[No, please praise him. Just after the work is done.]
I'm still going to assume Crowley is profiting from the situation in some way. This sounds too much like another "let the kids do the work for me" kind of thing.
If you so much as *try* to touch me, the moment I wake up, I will behead you with a butterknife. Why don't *you* just spend the night in the tub? Give it a chance. You may find yourself enjoying it.
All beds are property of the queen once I get a bit of tequila in me. I applaud your attempts at trying to negotiate this, but it has already been decided.
[He can't even bluff with something like "but I haven't washed the sheets in weeks" because no one would believe that. He keeps his things very tidy, thank you.]
Whether I'm capable or not is hardly the issue. I called dibs. It's mine. Even when it isn't in use, it's still mine. Therefore, you have no business being in or on it until the end of the night.
[ grrr. this stubborn jerk... he almost liked jamil better when he was low-key and overly accommodating. only almost, though. ]
I will take your words at face value and thank you for the compliment.
[ oh... oh no... is he going too far again? is he being a tyrannical harpy? (does it count as long as the person you're driving apeshit is from another dorm?) for the first time all day, riddle asks himself if he should maybe tone it down a little. he can't have jamil thinking he's weak though!
he'll just have to test the waters... ]
If you are trying to make me feel guilty, it isn't working. For one, I expect a reasonable level of obedience from everyone, not just you. Furthermore, no one has called dibs on the bathtub or washing machine as far as I know. You have so many more options than you realize.
[Taking Jamil's words at face value would be mistake #1.]
The washing machine? How cruel. I can't even imagine what Kalim would think if he knew another dorm leader had suggested his vice housewarden should sleep in such a place.
[He'd think it was hilarious, but that's beside the point.]
It's fine, I'll take the mat. I'll charm it for comfort.
[ unfortunately, the opposite can be said about riddle. the queen of hearts' credos exist for the sake of upholding (her) law, order, and transparency after all. ]
What's so wrong with the washing machine? It's comfortable in there, like a nest I imagine.
[ yes he's slept in a washing machine before, no he's not ready to talk about it. ]
Your understanding is appreciated. As we say where I'm from, one good turn deserves another. I will take care to remember this.
Seeing as how I'll most likely be piss-drunk and unable to tell up from down, that won't be necessary. Thank you for the offer, but if you're that desperate to wait on me, I have plenty of work here in Heartslabyul here for you to fill your time with.
[ does jamil want to fight, does jamil want to fight. ]
Contrary to popular belief, Trey isn't aware of my going-ons every second of every day. He also has his own business to attend to that night, so he won't be accompanying me.
I really do hope you aren't so far gone as to honestly think a housewarden *needs* to be in constant contact with their vice in order to be considered responsible. If so, it's no surprise Scarabia's reputation has become what it is.
[ see now, riddle was gonna let jamil live, but he just had to bring his vertical deficiency into this. ]
Beg pardon? Do not underestimate me. Despite my appearance, I'm no shy little violet. I can handle more than a drink or two, thank you.
[The vice needs to be in constant contact with the housewarden if said housewarden is Kalim. But there he goes bringing the house's reputation into it. Jamil knows he shouldn't take the bait - it's not like he doesn't regularly hear worse, and Riddle is a very powerful mage (despite appearances). Picking an actual fight could end poorly for him.
But this smug little twerp...]
And how many rules will you be breaking by participating in this party?
[ hm... it seems he hit a nerve, if he's trying to bring the rules into this.
good. as the queen of hearts once said: talk shit get hit!!! ]
If this is your way of challenging me, you need only ask, Jamil. I would be more than happy to demonstrate to you my talents outside of academics.
Oh? Someone from Scarabia caring about rules for once instead of playing around and partying? I didn't think it was possible.
And for your information, I always account for relevant rules and future obligations before committing to social gatherings. My presence will violate 0 rules.
[ he was in the heartslabyul study lounge, but after a few stares and concerned blinks he had to strategically relocate to the dorm lounge...where people are also looking at him. fuckkkkk!!! ]
Say that to my face instead of over text message, and I will be happy to show you how much I care about rules not written by the Queen of Hearts herself.
Uh... I'm not sure I would've called the state of the bristles or the material type "suitable".
[ He probably sounds too blunt, but what can he say, the subject of teeth gets him fired up. Their importance has been ingrained from a young age, he can't help it. ]
I don't like introducing anything more complicated into his daily routine if it can be helped.
Also, quite frankly, excuse you? I have been very diligent in looking out for our dental hygiene. I will replace the brushes when necessary, but they've done the job just fine.
[ ...He doesn't agree, but it's clear that Jamil is not as obsessive a dentition enthusiast as himself and that continuing along this path will just be an exercise in frustration for them both. Besides-- ]
Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you aren't diligent. When it comes to dorm matters, you're probably the most attentive of all us vice-heads.
...Does that mean you don't want the toothbrushes though?
[ He can probably find them all another good home, somewhere... ]
[ Part of him was hoping Jamil would pick them up immediately so Trey would get to experience his reaction, but he's not surprised that he decides otherwise. He continues texting as he heads back to Heartslabyul. ]
Oh, no... Nothing as fancy as all that.
Just, the angle and arrangement of the bristles are ideal for dislodging stubborn bits of dirt.
And they're made of a hardier material that'll last longer, but not so hardy that it'll damage your gums.
And there's a spell woven into them so they'll clean more rigorously. That'll wear off eventually though.
But he doesn't exactly make a habit of checking up on other dorms, it's true. ]
I'm not, no. I just had some spares lying around and--
You and Kalim really saved my hide before the last Unbirthday Party, letting me have those ingredients.
[ OK, maybe it was more Kalim's idea than Jamil's, but any time Kalim has a brainwave, Jamil gets roped into the execution, anyone with eyes can see that. ]
I wanted to do something to help in return, as a token of appreciation.
[ A bit ironic that he seems to have ended up giving Jamil more work with his gesture, though. ]
Well, you can be assured that you are literally the only person on campus who would return a favor in the form of toothbrushes.
[Thanks? Maybe?]
[No.]
Though unless you're the tooth fairy, going in and replacing someone's brushes without asking could be considered an insult. Luckily for you I'm a nice person.
[ Trey can practically envision the asterisk and the corresponding fine print qualifying the "nice", but that's NRC's student body as a whole for you. Jamil is at least one of the more reasonable among them though. Most of the time. ]
Point taken, I'll speak to you first next time. Thanks for indulging me. And for not taking my head off.
[ It seems that he's just made more trouble for Jamil now, rather than doing something helpful... ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azul (octaplicitous) 6/10 tfln
[Jamil scoffs under his breath but doesn't quite manage to keep one corner of his lips from turning upward.] Don't be too impressed. I'm basically the housewarden in everything but name.
[No, please praise him. Just after the work is done.]
Don't forget your time limit.
azul (octaplicitous) 6/10 tfln (again)
I'm still going to assume Crowley is profiting from the situation in some way. This sounds too much like another "let the kids do the work for me" kind of thing.
6.18 (tfln)
If you so much as *try* to touch me, the moment I wake up, I will behead you with a butterknife. Why don't *you* just spend the night in the tub? Give it a chance. You may find yourself enjoying it.
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No but really, the bed isn't even yours. Why don't I just get you a mat?
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You can sleep on a mat if you'd like though!
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[He can't even bluff with something like "but I haven't washed the sheets in weeks" because no one would believe that. He keeps his things very tidy, thank you.]
If you can land on it, you can sleep on it.
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What is that supposed to mean? I would prefer a straightforward answer that doesn't sound foreboding, thank you.
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All you need to do is prove me wrong.
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[ grrr. this stubborn jerk... he almost liked jamil better when he was low-key and overly accommodating. only almost, though. ]
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As you wish. I, as the humble servant, will kowtow to the Queen's demands and take my place on the floor like so much refuse.
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[ oh... oh no... is he going too far again? is he being a tyrannical harpy? (does it count as long as the person you're driving apeshit is from another dorm?) for the first time all day, riddle asks himself if he should maybe tone it down a little. he can't have jamil thinking he's weak though!
he'll just have to test the waters... ]
If you are trying to make me feel guilty, it isn't working. For one, I expect a reasonable level of obedience from everyone, not just you. Furthermore, no one has called dibs on the bathtub or washing machine as far as I know. You have so many more options than you realize.
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The washing machine? How cruel. I can't even imagine what Kalim would think if he knew another dorm leader had suggested his vice housewarden should sleep in such a place.
[He'd think it was hilarious, but that's beside the point.]
It's fine, I'll take the mat. I'll charm it for comfort.
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What's so wrong with the washing machine? It's comfortable in there, like a nest I imagine.
[ yes he's slept in a washing machine before, no he's not ready to talk about it. ]
Your understanding is appreciated. As we say where I'm from, one good turn deserves another. I will take care to remember this.
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Does His Majesty also need someone to tuck him in?
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[ does jamil want to fight, does jamil want to fight. ]
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No thanks.
I assume your vice housewarden knows what you're doing right now?
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How early should I expect someone of your stature to be utterly wasted? One, two drinks in?
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[ see now, riddle was gonna let jamil live, but he just had to bring his vertical deficiency into this. ]
Beg pardon? Do not underestimate me. Despite my appearance, I'm no shy little violet. I can handle more than a drink or two, thank you.
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[The vice needs to be in constant contact with the housewarden if said housewarden is Kalim. But there he goes bringing the house's reputation into it. Jamil knows he shouldn't take the bait - it's not like he doesn't regularly hear worse, and Riddle is a very powerful mage (despite appearances). Picking an actual fight could end poorly for him.
But this smug little twerp...]
And how many rules will you be breaking by participating in this party?
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good. as the queen of hearts once said: talk shit get hit!!! ]
If this is your way of challenging me, you need only ask, Jamil. I would be more than happy to demonstrate to you my talents outside of academics.
Oh? Someone from Scarabia caring about rules for once instead of playing around and partying? I didn't think it was possible.
And for your information, I always account for relevant rules and future obligations before committing to social gatherings. My presence will violate 0 rules.
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[He's typed this before he can actually stop his fingers.]
And if that's your way of asking me out I'll have to pass on account of having taste.
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do you want to die jamil viper
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Now murder is *definitely* breaking the rules, Riddle Rosehearts.
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Say that to my face instead of over text message, and I will be happy to show you how much I care about rules not written by the Queen of Hearts herself.
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[That's in person. Also around tons of people.]
ace (kibitzer) 6/24 tfln
How drunk are you, anyway?
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but the typing thing might change soon
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im a devoted type of guy :)
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6/15 tfln - Trey (madforhats)
Dire?? Trey, they're tooth brushes. What we had was perfectly suitable.
I don't need the *latest models* in tooth brush design. And please don't hinder Kalim with anything more complicated than a stick with some bristles.
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[ He probably sounds too blunt, but what can he say, the subject of teeth gets him fired up. Their importance has been ingrained from a young age, he can't help it. ]
Kalim really can't handle a simple toothbrush?
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Also, quite frankly, excuse you? I have been very diligent in looking out for our dental hygiene. I will replace the brushes when necessary, but they've done the job just fine.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you aren't diligent. When it comes to dorm matters, you're probably the most attentive of all us vice-heads.
...Does that mean you don't want the toothbrushes though?
[ He can probably find them all another good home, somewhere... ]
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Leave them outside my door. I'll have them inspected.
[Yes, even toothbrushes.]
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Sure.
[ Very thorough, but then that's probably run of the mill for a monied family like the Al-Asims.
...
A little while later, Jamil receives another message: ]
Okay, I dropped them off. Hope they pass inspection.
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He'll pick them up once the hallway's clear.]
Are these electric?
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Oh, no... Nothing as fancy as all that.
Just, the angle and arrangement of the bristles are ideal for dislodging stubborn bits of dirt.
And they're made of a hardier material that'll last longer, but not so hardy that it'll damage your gums.
And there's a spell woven into them so they'll clean more rigorously. That'll wear off eventually though.
But, yeah. That's all.
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He looks over them carefully, even though he knows its unnecessary. It's just his job. He often wishes it wasn't.]
Are you making rounds with these, or what? I don't see why the dental hygiene of other dorms should be a priority of yours.
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But he doesn't exactly make a habit of checking up on other dorms, it's true. ]
I'm not, no. I just had some spares lying around and--
You and Kalim really saved my hide before the last Unbirthday Party, letting me have those ingredients.
[ OK, maybe it was more Kalim's idea than Jamil's, but any time Kalim has a brainwave, Jamil gets roped into the execution, anyone with eyes can see that. ]
I wanted to do something to help in return, as a token of appreciation.
[ A bit ironic that he seems to have ended up giving Jamil more work with his gesture, though. ]
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[Thanks? Maybe?]
[No.]
Though unless you're the tooth fairy, going in and replacing someone's brushes without asking could be considered an insult. Luckily for you I'm a nice person.
[As long as "nice" is a relative term.]
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Point taken, I'll speak to you first next time. Thanks for indulging me. And for not taking my head off.
[ It seems that he's just made more trouble for Jamil now, rather than doing something helpful... ]
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[Not really a positive.]
I'll make sure Kalim knows this is from you. I'm sure he'll say it's the best toothbrush he's ever had.
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One Riddle is more than enough for me to handle, anyway.
I did mean those as gifts for both of you though. If you're not excited by toothbrushes, are you into sweets at all?
[ It's not that he's still concerned about returning the favor – more like he never passes up the chance to bake for someone. ]
And I promise I'm not asking so I can rejig Scarabia's pantry.
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Sweets are okay. They're more Kalim's thing. I like my food spicy.
A toothbrush is fine. You don't need to go out of your way any more than you already have.
[Being offered these is awkward enough for him.]
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Spicy food features a lot in Scarabian cuisine, right? Any particular dishes you have in mind? "Spicy" kind of covers a lot of ground.
My cooking skills aren't quite as up to par with my baking, unfortunately. Especially spicy food. I'll have to brush up.